Monday, March 11, 2002

So it's the 6 month anneversay of the WTC/Pentegon attacks...

"Where were you when it happened?"

I was at work, documenting some old code. There were only two of us there at the time, Paul and I. I hear Paul say "Holy shit! The world trade center just blew up!" or something to that effect. I assume he's joking and don't pay any attention to him. But he continues talking about it, and I go over to see what the hell he's talking about. Sure enough, there on RobTVs video news stream is the WTC, smoke pouring out of it. At this point another co-worker comes in, and we're all standing around watching when the second plane hit. When this happens we all begin to have a good idea of what's going on - it's an attack of some sort. We all rush back to our desks and begin scouring the internet looking for any information we can find. Sadly, there isn't much to be found. All of the major news sites were down due to load. The only site that was responding was slashdot.org, which did a remarkable job just staying up. By now most everyone was in the office, and we were all quite confused. One of the guys lived very close by, so we went to his place to watch TV. Sound plan, right? Well, not quite - he lived across the street from the US embassy, which by now was swarming with cops. In his place we were watching CNN and we were just really beginning to understand what was happening. It was here we saw the second tower fall. We were all feeling pretty sick to our stomachs. I was drinking Jamaican beer and liking it - and I HATE beer. After a time we all went back to the office and tried to work. We weren't successful. I ended up going home, where I flopped into bed immedately and had some bad dreams.

"What has it done to you?"

It's made me more sure than ever that we humans will die out soon and we'll deserve it 100%. We're no better than animals. Worse, in fact, because we can wilfully create such havok and pain on the world in which we live. We're parasites. That's the reaction from the part of me that loathes myself and what I am.
Now moving on to the part of me that is terribly bored and far too comfortable with life... That part has become a news junky. At work I always have a window to CNN.com open now. If nothing interesting happens there, I switch to foxnews.com or some other site to see if they've picked up on some story that hasn't yet made it to CNN.com. I can't get enough of it. I keep waiting for the same HIGH that came on September 11th - to know that I'm witnessing earth-changing events unfold. Part of me ENJOYED September 11th. I felt alive for those few hours where I wasn't sure if I would live to see the next day. How far would the attack go? How many other facets had we not yet seen? Would the US retaliate immediately, sending us all to hell? It felt good. I'm not ashamed to say that. After all, I'm as parasitic and bloodthirsty as the rest of my species.

Anyway... moving on...

Tattoo appointment today. I really hope I don't wig out today like I did last time. That was really bad...

posted by pookzilla at 10:54 AM - 0 comments