Tuesday, August 31, 2004

I secured my vacation time today - Thursday it is. Five days... what to do, what to do? Pikmin 2 is out today. As fun as it looks, I don't want to squander my vacation playing video games. Besides, I still havn't finished Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes and there are so many other good games coming out soon such as X-Men: Legends, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door and Metroid Prime 2: Echoes. I'll probably fart around downtown and raid all of the coffee and dessert shops. Maybe I could go for Indian buffet - you can never have too much daal.

posted by pookzilla at 6:19 PM - 0 comments

Monday, August 30, 2004

Aww man...why did I have to end up being the goth?


Sorrowful
As if you were born into a world of tears, you
always tend to look at the darker things in
life. Inside you crave attention yet push away
society, and you're a hopeless romantic. Drawn
to things like the occult and mysteries, you
spend your time daydreaming.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

posted by pookzilla at 7:42 PM - 9 comments

So I had another one of those productive days today. That was pretty cool.

I'm going to ask to take a few more days of my vacation this week or next. I have a four day weekend coming up that I'd like to pad. I don't know what I'd do with my time if I got it, though. I'd feel the urge to be a lump but I don't think that'd be the right thing. I want to DO something. Experience something. Bah. I am woefully understimulated.

posted by pookzilla at 5:27 PM - 0 comments

Sunday, August 29, 2004

The BBQ was fun. I only wish I could be more of a participant than an observer. The social areas of my brain seem to be damaged in some fundemental way.

Edit: Also, my back is covered in mosquito bites... and I can't reach them. :(

posted by pookzilla at 4:25 PM - 2 comments

Saturday, August 28, 2004

I'm going to X's BBQ tonight. I'm getting ready now because it takes me no less than four hours to get ready in such a way that I am not overly self-conscious. I doubt the process will be effective today. My nerves are raw.

posted by pookzilla at 1:13 PM - 3 comments

Friday, August 27, 2004

I heard Ani DiFranco for the first time today. Wasn't the lesbian glee club supposed to shove her down my throat when I was indoctrinated or something? I really like her.

posted by pookzilla at 7:46 PM - 0 comments

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Still no takers for Dream Theater. I am sad. Oh well...

posted by pookzilla at 4:45 PM - 1 comment

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

*yawn* Today was productive. One of the few truely productive days that I've had in the past month or two. I suspect tomorrow won't be a repeat.

I've been trying to organize a group of people at work to go and see Dream Theater when they're in town next week but so far no one is interested. I don't want to go by myself...

posted by pookzilla at 4:51 PM - 2 comments

Monday, August 23, 2004

I called the passport office today to see what was taking my passport so long to arrive. It should've been mailed out last Monday. It turns out it was mailed, and I was given a tracking number to check up on it. It turns out it was mailed at the beginning of the month, a full 11 days ahead of schedule. It's been sitting at the post office for close to a month now and the postal peons never even bothered to drop me a card to let me know. GRRRR. It is now in my possession. It's less cool than I thought it would be. I assumed it'd be full of juicy tidbits such as the name of my first crush and the volume of each ass cheek in cubic centimeters. No such luck.

Also of note, I received my monthly bank statement - as of this month the last $4.99 of my student loan has been paid off. Woo!

posted by pookzilla at 4:33 PM - 6 comments

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Minor update to my about page.

posted by pookzilla at 7:40 PM - 7 comments

I slept twelve hours last night without waking up once. This is extremely unusual for me. I don't think I've ever slept that long (in an uninterrupted block) before. I don't feel well but I can't figure out why. Part of it has to do with my sister-in-laws funeral. Or more specifically, to my mothers reaction to it.

I offered to come down. Before I even finished she cut me off and said it wouldn't be necessary. She sounded afraid of the prospect. I'm still an embarrassment to my family. This is not a new revelation but it still hurts. I feel selfish bringing it up but too bad.

posted by pookzilla at 9:27 AM - 0 comments

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Andrew and I have played some more 2 on 2 Dawn of War action. The first game we played (on the Hard setting) we thoroughly won in a short period of time. We then became cocky and decided to try the Advanced AI (the next setting) and were stomped to paste in about 5 minutes. We tried several times but couldn't get any serious offense going. We came close on the third try, occupying key points in the center zone, but in the end they came over us in waves.

What does this tell me?

It tells me that I am not the weak link. Aaron is. :P

posted by pookzilla at 12:37 PM - 1 comment

Friday, August 20, 2004

My sister-in-law passed away this morning after a long battle with cancer. They're holding a small funeral for her on Tuesday and a prayer service tomorrow.

posted by pookzilla at 4:18 PM - 3 comments

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Dawn of War is starting to get on my nerves. I've been playing a lot of 3 on 3 with Aaron and Andrew (Aarons boyfriend *wink*) lately. I am the weakest link. I always end up in the middle position which is the first target of the opposing computer players. All three of them throw their entire weight at me right from the start. It necessitates being overly defensive which can only spell doom in the long run. While you're busy holding your own they're out gathering more resources and territory which means even more forces thrown against your defenses. It's very tricky. I feel my best use is to simply hold up our opponents for as long as possible while Aaron and Andrew build their armies and attack them from the flank in unison after I'm toast, when they're at their weakest.

My Life as Bait, a story by Pookzilla. :P

posted by pookzilla at 5:32 PM - 4 comments

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

I came across this site while researching something Dan Brown asserted in the opening section of Angels and Demons (which I am now listening to on my Pocket PC). What I wouldn't give to have John Langdon create a personalized logo for myself. His ambigrams are amazing.

posted by pookzilla at 7:13 PM - 0 comments

I am seriously considering renaming this blog to "Chronicles of Stupid." Why, you may ask? Well let me tell you.

When I got my hair cut a few days back I bought some salon shampoo and conditioner. It's a brand I've never used before, but my stylist recommended it. When I first used it I was astonished at it's scent. It smelled DELICIOUS. I couldn't quite place it, but I knew some tasty food had the exact same scent. Just now having felt the need to remove the stench from my own body I decided upon a shower. As I heaped the shampoo into my hand the scent hit me full on. And I knew it. It was the smell of orange creamsicles. Before my higher brain functions could send the appropriate orders down my spinal column I found myself in an awkward predicament. I was licking the shampoo.

For the record I did not swallow.

Just as my tongue was lapping at the luxuriously scented hair product I regained control. And stuck my tongue in the shower stream.

I take very hot showers.

Addendum to the record: the taste did not do the smell justice.

Some day I will end up as a Darwin Award winner.

posted by pookzilla at 6:16 PM - 4 comments

Monday, August 16, 2004

Today was a waste. I went down to pick up my passport, as instructed by the peon behind the counter approximately two weeks ago. Turns out you have to pay extra to pick it up in person, which I did not do. So it was mailed out to me today. My trip downtown was a waste. Guh.

posted by pookzilla at 3:42 PM - 3 comments

Sunday, August 15, 2004

I can't manage to calm down. I've chugged a beer but all that's done is give me motion trails in my vision. I can't even hold my hand straight. I feel like I've been betrayed and duped. I feel like a fool. I've accepted this kind of treatment for so long. What the hell is wrong with me? I've known that I've been only setting myself up for abuse. No one can love a doormat. Why couldn't I have put my foot down long ago? I've cultured an environment where using me was acceptable. Where it's the only way to interact with me. I am so stupid...

God I wish I could just get hit by a bus or something. I am so tired. I've made a future for myself that is looking incredibly lonely and I really don't want to face it.

posted by pookzilla at 7:12 PM - 6 comments

Y'know, people have a tendency to abuse generosity. This is something I know very well. I let it happen. I always have. I've been so desperate for closeness or attention that I've let people do with me as they wish.

The gravy train? It has stopped. I am SO sick of it. I was not designed to be the caretaker for people that either do not or cannot appreciate it. Take take take. I can't endure any more of this bullshit. And yes, I know I can't have anything better than this but that doesn't make it OK.

Fuck I am so angry right now I could fucking hit someone.

posted by pookzilla at 4:22 PM - 0 comments

Friday, August 13, 2004

Hair: cut. I like it. It's cute.

I had Indian food afterwards at my favourite place. I havn't been there in a while and the guys there havn't seen the tattoo on my left arm. These tend to be touchy feely. Actually, that's a lie. They grope you. They're obsessed with girls who have tattoos. When I took off my jacket and they saw me they were on me like glue, stroking, oogling and generally trying to be charming. Indian guys are so cute.

Sometimes feeling like a piece of raw meat is nice.

posted by pookzilla at 8:33 PM - 1 comment

Thursday, August 12, 2004

One more day left in this acursed week. I'm getting my hair done tomorrow and my arm done on Saturday. I'll be broke by Monday. Oh well.

posted by pookzilla at 7:00 PM - 2 comments

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Up on a mountain
encased in solar rays
Beyond electric dreams
of inarticulate passion plays
Coming down a mountain,
eons have a human ring
The conversation of impassive planets
Intercepted by a human being
- Bad Religion, "Beyond Electric Dreams"

Ok. Some some stuff on the new album has really grown on me.

posted by pookzilla at 4:34 PM - 0 comments

Monday, August 09, 2004

I downloaded the Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War beta the other day. I'm really enjoying it. It's similar to Warcraft, minus the annoying resource gathering. Despite BARELY meeting the system requirements I do believe I will buy this game when it is released. With any luck some kids will throw together some mods for Tyranids or Necrons or something.

I've mostly played with the Space Marines although I've given the Chaos Marines a try as well. Chaos is damn stompy. The Defiler can rip through units like butter, and they do have the Bloodthirster (although I've yet to see it in game).

posted by pookzilla at 7:58 PM - 2 comments

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Monica Bellucci is gorgeous beyond words.

posted by pookzilla at 2:29 PM - 7 comments

Saturday, August 07, 2004

I had a very bad dream last night. It involved a group of children and I was part of the group. Although I knew who I was, the focus of the dream would shift - every so often I'd experience events from one of the other children's point of view. The details are hard for me to see now and I get the impression that they were grotesquely complicated but the jist of it is we had a very traumatic experience that bonded us together. By the time it was over we were best of friends. When we realized this, we were separated. I can't recall how this was done, but it was logic that could only have made sense in a dream. Flashforward 20 years into the future. We had reunited, trying to recapture the feelings we had before. Again I got to spend time in each persons head and got to see why it couldn't work. It was easily the most melancholy dream I've ever had. I woke up with such a sense of loss. It's been almost an hour now and I'm still fighting the urge to cry.

posted by pookzilla at 7:48 AM - 0 comments

Friday, August 06, 2004

Yah, so I'm eating a pastry and I feel my teeth close on my tongue bar. I think "ok, nothing big, it's just shifted too far." As I relax my jaw, however, I note that the bar is not falling back into it's usual place. In fact, it's loose in my mouth. Trying not to swallow I feel around inside my mouth with my tongue to see what's happened. One of the balls is gone. Sigh. I just bought this bar too. Hopefully I can buy a replacement bead by itself without buying the whole thing again.

Tomorrow my poo will glow under blacklight.

posted by pookzilla at 8:09 PM - 0 comments

Thursday, August 05, 2004

The Shining, as told by bunnies in 30 seconds. Hahaha oh how I love these.

posted by pookzilla at 7:31 PM - 0 comments

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

The new RUSH album I like. I'm a sucker for novelty and it certainly is novel. I'm not so keen on the new Bad Religion. I'm a of "Boot Stamping on a Human Face Forever" (which just happens to be one of my favourite literary quotes), "To Another Abyss" and "Sinister Rouge". The rest doesn't jump out at me. "The Quickening" is awful. I'll be skipping that one on a regular basis methinks. "The Empire Strikes First" and "Let Them Eat War" are cheesy. Overall it doesn't compare favourably to their last release.

posted by pookzilla at 6:42 PM - 0 comments

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Lunch didn't sit well with me. I feel ickle.

The Eclipse 3.1 draft plan was posted recently. I'm happy to see a plan. This past month since 3.0 shipped has been quite grating. I don't like shooting aimlessly.

Speaking of aimless... I am completely and utterly lost. I don't think I've ever been more terrified of tomorrow than I am today.

posted by pookzilla at 4:26 PM - 4 comments

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Oh Aaron... if you're still keen on getting me a gift I wouldn't mind this. Just kidding. All the same it is absolutely gorgeous. It's a shame that it costs so much.

posted by pookzilla at 7:28 PM - 3 comments

Arm update:

 

posted by pookzilla at 3:47 PM - 4 comments

The Exorcist, as told by bunnies in 30 seconds.

posted by pookzilla at 9:54 AM - 0 comments