Yeah, I sometimes do it too. Not under normal circumstances but some situations make me hypersensitive to those who are around me. Late at night at a bus stop, or walking in the dark, or when surrounded by inebriated guys, for instance. If they seem to be the sort that might give us grief my tendency is to be very conservative. We’ve had some of that grief in the past - drive by with expletives, having kids off in the distance yelling “lesbians”, or even having camera phones pointed at us. I rationalize it by saying “it wasn’t THAT bad” but there’s no reason to think it couldn’t be some day…
Shakesville: Take My Arm, My Love
May 6th, 2008 · 2 Comments
Tags: Personal
2 responses so far ↓
1 Kevin // May 15, 2008 at 7:47 pm
In my immediate and extended family we are very physically demonstrable. Everyone gets hugs and kisses and sits on each other’s knees at family BBQs. Plus my brother was gay and I spent lots of time with him and in gay bars. So lets just say I’m comfortable with non-sexual physical intimacy amongst those who care for each other regardless of gender.
Some time back I was walking in the market with a very good, special, long time friend. We were walking with our arms over each other’s shoulders or maybe waists, can’t recall. Because, well, see above about “very good, long time friend”. Some guy yelled out from a patio “F*in Queers!”. It was a bit of a shocker being on the receiving end of that. Of course the immediate response was going to be, “Actually I like girls thank you very much” but realized immediately that its none of his business if I’m hetero!
When the issue of same sex marriage was really in the media not long ago I thought the *right* answer wasn’t whether you were pro same sex or not, its whether you are pro love or not. With all the hate, suffering and anguish in the world, isn’t more people loving each other a basically good thing? After that, the details seem pretty irrelevant compared to, say, 20000+ dead in China from earthquake, war in Iraq, …
2 Chris Recoskie // Jun 4, 2008 at 1:28 pm
People can be dicks. You shouldn’t have to hide. Chances are those douchebags are either jealous that they can’t have one or both of you for themselves, or they are overcompensating to hide something in themselves.
Personally, I try my level best to treat my non-straight friends or other non-straight people I meet the same as I would otherwise. Maybe it doesn’t always work 100%, but all I can do is try to live my life the way I believe it should be lived. You should be able to do the same, and so should everyone else.
Back to the issue at hand though… it’s sad to say, but always plan for the worst. Shit, I’m a 400 lb straight white man that rides motorcycles, and I don’t trust people out in the world. Carry some pepper spray or something (strictly for attacking pit bulls of course), just in case. Everyone should be prepared to defend themselves if they have to, regardless of cause. You could get mugged just as easily as be victim of a hate crime.
Some day, geeks will rule the earth and we won’t have to deal with all this crap.
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