It’s been another rough week in our household. Our baby girl, Abby, took another bad turn. We’ve been down this path so many times now and there is no mistaking the inevitable destination. After a lot of soul searching and tears we decided to end her pain (and ours) before things got any worse. She was already at the point where she couldn’t walk more than a few steps without falling and she almost never went in her box. She had moments of happiness undoubtedly, but she would mostly just lay around looking miserable. She was never an active cat, but she used to have this spark about her. That spark was gone now, except for the times I was on the floor with her. Giving her a good scritch to the head or back (never lower than that - her arthritis wouldn’t allow it) usually perked her up… but I couldn’t spend all day on the floor.
We decided to ask our vet to come to our house to do the deed and thankfully he agreed. Neither of us wanted our last memories of Abby to be her freaked out and panicking at the vets. By doing it here we should have had a calm, peaceful Abby to remember. By having a date to look to, it also gave us some time to make memorabilia of her. The video camera has been out, snapping short clips of her whenever I catch her in a good spot. On Sunday we made a concrete tile with her paw prints, and also prepared a plaster kit and ink stamp. Given how stressed she got for the concrete, we decided to leave the plaster for after she had passed on - there was no sense making her last few days a string of unpleasant experiences. Instead, we pampered her as best we could while upping her medication dosage to a level that would harm her long term. It perked her up a little bit, but she was still not the same cat we knew and loved…
The downside to this route is that we had almost a week to agonize over our decision. I can’t speak for Lexy, but I would second guess myself every hour or so. Crying usually followed, but after I calmed down I would realize that we were doing the right thing. Keeping her going in this state is selfish. As much as I love her (and boy do I ever love that smelly little butterball) I knew it was time.
So, another member of the family is gone. This year has been so incredibly difficult…
I wrote the above a few days ago knowing that I wouldn’t be able to write it today. She went peacefully, without being scared, in the arms of her people. We miss you already Abby and we love you so very much. Goodbye.
